ineke.co.uk

A @realDonaldTrump Jeremy Kyle lie detector special would be something else though…

— Chris Stark (@Chris_Stark) January 11, 2017

“It’s like having 10,000 spoons, when all you need is a knife”
“SELL SOME OF YOUR SPOONS ALANIS. BUY A KNIFE. THIS IS RIDICULOUS”

— Dave (@davechannel) January 10, 2017

As a New Year's resolution, I'm only drinking 3.14 cups of coffee a day, so I can claim I've "started doing pi lattes".

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) January 10, 2017

A type of Japanese snail (Karaftohelix gainesi) uses its shell to bludgeon threats. (Video from SciNews.) pic.twitter.com/7wuzkAnT8Y

— Quite Interesting (@qikipedia) January 9, 2017

Inventor of Fitbit falls off Machu Pichu, but does hit ten thousand steps on the way down

— Milton Jones (@themiltonjones) January 9, 2017

The Persistence of Cookies pic.twitter.com/gMMJmJfbcO

— Sesame Street (@sesamestreet) January 9, 2017

I told the boss I'd be late in because of the #TubeStrike – she pointed out I live here. Damn.

— Larry the Cat (@Number10cat) January 9, 2017

ATTENTION ALL CITIZENS
From 8.23 this morning it is now an offence to wish anyone else a 'Happy New Year. Thank you for your co-operation.

— Richard Osman (@richardosman) January 9, 2017

The Londoner, having no idea where he is, asks for directions. "Where do you need to get to?" The passer-by asks. "Southbound – 4 stops"

— innocent drinks (@innocent) January 9, 2017

"I might have a lie in tomorrow" – Translation: I'm going to be wide awake at the usual time but with my eyes closed

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) January 8, 2017

We don't deserve this planet. There are (many) days when I think it would be better off without us. <cue climate denier trolls> 9/

— Eric Holthaus (@EricHolthaus) January 6, 2017

The Trumpster quote #1#ANewJeersToast https://t.co/qZQEGU18r6

— Mark Hamill (@MarkHamill) January 8, 2017

[looks out of window for the 50th time]
YEP, STILL SNOWING

— innocent drinks (@innocent) January 12, 2017

A frickin' elephanthttps://t.co/EC1la5Q6kw pic.twitter.com/VNXEAVX09b

— The Poke (@ThePoke) January 12, 2017

Fred flintstone been driving about killie pic.twitter.com/PJbkAvV3gN

— Nick (@WheresMaJaiket) January 12, 2017

OMG IT FINALLY HAPPENED! THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG pic.twitter.com/Kv1RPFQMPj

— Sauro (@sauro) January 11, 2017

The Crystal Maze is making a comeback. And @RichardAyoade will be the Maze Master 🔮https://t.co/gpvYn1BJQE

— BBC Newsbeat (@BBCNewsbeat) January 13, 2017

who knew that watching two women fight over the fact they're all wearing white would be so amazing pic.twitter.com/vr0w7RmfET

— G (@oneofthosefaces) January 12, 2017

#FakeTrumpNews @ThePoke pic.twitter.com/AW7xBBK2zF

— King Gruntfuttock (@lemora) January 12, 2017

"Never make fun of people for mispronouncing a word. It means they learned it by reading."

— Morgan Housel (@morganhousel) January 11, 2017

I'm not an expert, but it seems wrong to me that any government should care more about citizens having access to guns than to healthcare.

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) January 14, 2017